I’m not going to tell you that men and woman are dramatically different. You already know that. I am going to tell you that we view love very differently than our male counterparts do. For us, as women, the thing that generally makes us want to plan a future with a man is that we fall hopelessly in love. We judge that by the fact that we are so enamored with our man that we can’t even think straight. All other men drop out of our view and this man becomes the epitome of what happily-ever-after looks like. We base all of that on feelings – our raw emotions that tell us, internally, that he’s the one.
Unfortunately, most men don’t view love from those same eyes. Men are more logical than us. They have minds that are more focused on putting all the pieces in order before claiming the prize. Your man may say he’s madly in love with you, but if something just isn’t falling into place the exact way he wants it too, he won’t pursue a long term, committed relationship with you.
That’s a bit shocking, isn’t it? It’s almost a challenge for most women to comprehend it. Men just need more information and rely on more logical data before they decide that they’ve found their life partner.
What’s Really Going On in a Man’s Mind in Terms of Commitment?
We’ve all heard the tired old jokes about all that a man loses when he transitions from being a boyfriend to being a husband. The phrase “ball and chain” comes to mind. The problem is that many men buy into that misconception. They believe that if they get down on one knee and pop the ultimate question that there days of enjoying their friends and their own interests will be over and done.
It’s up to you to subtly show him that marriage is just the next step in your already enriching relationship. If your man sees commitment with you as the icing on the cake of his life, he’s going to be the one calling up the wedding planner, picking out the invitations and booking the band.
It’s generally not terribly effective for a woman to simply announce to her man that their marriage will be everything he wants it to be and more. Obviously, in his mind he’s going to expect you to say that as your end goal is that fairytale complete with white picket fence and two children.
The same holds true if you start talking incessantly about how you feel that you two have been dating long enough and a commitment is the next step. If he’s not internally ready to take that step, he’ll switch his direction and step right through the door and out of your life.
Subtle Persuasion to Get Him to See The Value in Commitment
Your job, as the woman who loves her man, is to show him how much better his life will be once he does finally and fully commit to you. In order to do that you need to begin by showing him that you’re the woman of his dreams. You’ve already convinced yourself of this so now it’s time to show him.
If you can become not only the woman he desires, but his best friend, you’ll be winning major points in the push towards a more committed relationship. In order to do this you have to shed all your inhibitions that are geared towards not engaging in the things he likes. If he’s a rowdy football fan, why not spend one Sunday afternoon firmly seated beside him, cheering him on while he’s cheering his team to victory? Learn more about the books, the art and the hobbies that fuel him. Show him that you find his life interesting.
You’re also going to have to demonstrate to the man of your dreams, that commitment with you isn’t about what he’s going to lose but much more about what he will gain. Mention, in passing, all the things you want to do, independently of him, in the future. These can include career goals, trips you’re hoping to take with girlfriends or even volunteer opportunities.
If your man senses that you’re not willing to compromise who you are as an independent and dynamic woman, he’ll be more inclined to consider a deeper commitment because his core self won’t feel as threatened.
Commitment, whether it’s a more serious relationship or marriage is within your grasp. You have the insight to get him to want to be your committed partner moving forward. There is an excellent video that explains exactly what many men feel in relation to commitment and the steps any woman can take to harness his committed nature and get him wanting more and more.
Don’t allow your dreams of a committed bond with your man to slip away. This is your guy, he’s the one for you – you feel that deep within your heart. Watch the video to learn how to get the relationship and future with him that you’ve been dreaming of. Don’t settle for anything less.